Confessions of a Delinquent Blogger

Bless me readers, for I have sinned. It's been 12 days since my last blog entry and these are my excuses:

• 1. I've been studying for my state licensing.
• 2. I've been studying for my state licensing.
• 3. I've been studying for my state licensing.

You get the picture.

This morning as I meditated, it occurred to me that I hadn't made a brain dump in quite a while. That's how I like to think of these little journaling sessions--brain dumps. Sometimes they're intellectual musings, sometimes pure babble whimsy. But I'm rather committed to them. They started as a discipline with my gardening project. But they evolved into something more complex, less tangible.

And today it hit me.  I'm feeling GUILT because I've let my blogging slide. Oh, I've had very good reasons, but still, there's that sense of remorse. What started as a spiritual, existential exercise has now become a "task," one more thing to check off my "to do" list. When did my big ego attachment to accomplishment, morph my joy of writing into...well...work? There I go again, forgetting that I'm a human being--not a human doing.

And yet, I've missed this time at my blog, the assertive stroke of fingers against keys, pouring forth words of creative joy and angst. So as my penance/privilege, I vow to visit as often as I possibly can, not because of any sense of obligation, but because I can think of no place I'd rather be. It's the same activity, but the motivation makes all the difference. And...I surrender to the task.

"...when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God. That man seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."   Ecclesiastes 5:19