And Now for Something Totally Different: The Canine United Nations

I just came back from an hour at the local dog park with my BFF, CoCo Chanel. It occurred to me during our romp at “The Bark” that we humans could learn a few things from our canine counterparts about how to get along. As I watched the pack of Chinese Cresteds, Irish Setters, and French Poodles, I began to understand what a Canine UN might look like. Images of dogs playing poker morphed in my mind into visions of terriers and labs and boxers politely seated around the UN president, a Mastiff—(no offense to President Ali Abdussalam Treki, but you have to admit, the resemblance is there. Just saying…)

Here is what I observed at the Canine United Nations:

Just because you’re the biggest dog in the park, doesn’t mean that you have to be the “Big Dog.” Canines give just as much respect to a Pomeranian with pluck as they do a Bull Mastiff who’s a bully. In fact, dogs seem to regard each other as equals no matter the breed, size, or upbringing. CoCo shows the same interest in an Afghan Hound as she does a Mexican Chihuahua. She sniffs everyone’s butt. It’s the accepted howdy-do of the dog park social mixer, and every dog knows that secret handshake.

At the Canine United Nations there is no conflict that cannot be overcome by a communal roll in the grass. There is always room at the water dish for one more tongue, and water shared in the common water dish always tastes better than the foo-foo bottled stuff carried by the two-leggers.

At the Canine UN there are never any disputes about water rights—the puppy pool is big enough for everyone to take his/her turn. If the wait gets too long, you can count on the fire plug to go off eventually for a quick soak. And there’s always some gracious Lab or Retriever willing to shake out her coat to share the cool-down.

There may only be one ball to chase at the Canine UN, but no matter. Taking part in the race is just as fulfilling as scoring the prize. And anyone can get in the game. No waiting for an invitation. No choosing sides. No winners. No losers.

And at the Canine UN everyone knows his/her place. If it needs herding, that’s the Border Collie’s job. If you need a spokesperson, go ask the Beagle. And if you need crowd control, the German Shepherd can be counted on to patrol the perimeter. Now that’s what I call a Security Council.

But the most important lesson to be learned at the Canine UN is that everyone gets to be the alpha dog at some time. If the big, dopey Weimaraner thinks he has a lock on "leader of the pack," just wait until that little Napoleon Min Pin gets there to show him who's boss. And that Weimaraner will relinquish his position graciously, without so much as a fleeting thought to holding a grudge. If only we two-leggers could be so civil.