The Table: A Faux Pas Finish

Consider "Operation Table Refinishing" officially completed. I feel like hanging a banner that reads: "Mission Accomplished" (much with the same embarrassing resonance.) Let's just say that the finished project is nothing to brag about.

"What have you learned, Grasshopper?..."

Let's count the lessons:

1. I have learned that "drizzling" is a technique best used to glaze a cake--not table edges.
2. I have learned dimples are only attractive on babies' cheeks-- not on cellulite-ridden legs and certainly not on furniture finishes.
3. I have learned neither nature nor nurture can guarantee that the talents so many of my ancestors shared will manifest in my own experiences.

After conferring with the customer service peon expert at the MinWax hotline, I realized that I was in over my head. Five minutes of her advice had my eyes glazed over. The long and short of it is that after five coats of polyurethane, (and five days of kitchen chaos) my table looks like a glossy golf ball. Not exactly the result I was going for.

But before I declare defeat, let me review what I had set out to do. The value I place on that oak table rests not in the beauty of its natural wood grain or its solid sturdiness. Its value rests in the memories of all the meals shared around it, the piles of homework spread over it, and the craft projects completed at it. Those memories are what I sought to honor by restoring the table to former glory.

When you think about it, the table and I are a lot alike. Our beauty does not come from what you see on the surface. Neither of us look as good as we used to, and we never will again. We could both use a little air-brushing. But...wrinkles only show where the smiles have been. Each mark and scar carries a story of how it was born. And no matter how much putty you apply or how thick you lay on the varnish you can't gloss over those moments. Why would you want to?

Mission accomplished? Yep. It's good 'nuf.