And Now for Something Totally Different: The Signs of the Season

Ah, September! The turning leaves, the smell of wood smoke, the chill in the air. Okay, so that’s someplace else. Here in the desert, the shift in seasons is a bit more subtle. I can always tell when autumn is "in the air." I'm serenaded at 7:00 am by the cadence of drums and horns from marching band practice at the high school. When you can tolerate drinking a morning cup of hot coffee, sitting on your patio (without accompanying hot flashes,) it's a good indicator that summer is waning.

We in Havasu observe a sure heralding of the change in season, more predictable than geese flying south for the winter, more certain than critters growing a heavy coat. It’s the invasion of the campaign sign. No sooner does Labor Day dictate the return of kids to school and the packing away of white sandals, than election banners pop up on every corner like Scorpion Weed after a spring rain.

In a community which prides itself on tight control of advertising banners, campaign signs seem oddly incongruous. They sprout overnight like teenage acne the day before the prom, first one, then another until an entire lot is covered. Since vacant lots in Lake Havasu have become increasingly scarce, what lots there are become literally (and litterly) overrun with bigger and brighter signs. Can anyone driving by even distinguish among the names? And please explain to me the need for more than one of the same banners posted on the same lot. Does the possibility of monsoon winds mandate more than one sign be placed just in case one blows away? And what intellectual proposed the notion a candidate's name on a piece of cardboard will guarantee voters will vote for said individual? Obviously not an environmentalist. How many trees died to stake that elective hopeful's claim?

For the sake of investigative honesty, I Googled "campaign signs" to learn how they're made. Most are not manufactured solely from wood pulp, but from a combination of poster board coated with plastic. One manufacturer boasted their signs would survive a nuclear winter! Yikes!

The same website proposed you only need five things to get elected, and I quote: "Name recognition, a couple of good issues, name recognition, name recognition, and name recognition." Some of our local candidates appear to have been drinking the Koolaid. I take offense to the assertion that the average voter makes his/her decisions in the ballot booth based on how many times they've encountered someone's name while driving down the highway. Yesterday I counted 28 campaign banners on the way to work. (I stopped counting at 28 when an exasperated driver cut me off, honking.) 

This fixation with campaign signs got me to thinking--someone should put a stop to this madness. Perhaps we need a candidate who is willing to run on one issue--a ban on campaign signage. I'm not volunteering for the job--I'm no martyr. After all, how would I get my message out there? But as long as campaign signs continue to sprout on the horizon I shall mount the charge in search of a suicidal champion who might agree with me. Anyone out there? I'm waiting for the Universe to send me a sign.